Crania Draft Massif
various artists: Crania Draft Massif
mp3-only release, unlimited edition

about this release

Fourier Transform was established in order to produce small, limited quantities of beautifully and unusually packaged music. In direct contradiction of these founding principles, we are now delighted to announce CRANIA DRAFT MASSIF, an unlimited edition web-only charity compilation album.

Some of the worst music of modern times has arisen from The Charity Single - facile, lowest-common-denominator pop for the masses. Or worse, novelty records by 'comedians' that are marginally less funny than gangrene. We thought it was about time someone produced some challenging, uncompromising and uncommercial music for a good cause. The conceptual twist is that all the tracks on Crania Draft Massif are remixes, reworkings or covers of existing charity songs. We've taken songs intended to appeal to the greatest possible number of people and totally ruined them made them good.

The mp3s are free, but if you download anything we ask you to please consider making a donation, however little, to Cardiff & District Samaritans using the PayPal button below. Alternatively, you can send them a cheque (see their site for details) or buy something from their shop.

Please note that all money donated goes directly to Cardiff Samaritans (it's their PayPal button) and contributes directly to their running costs. No money comes to us or via us, we're donating our time and bandwidth because we're nice people. And all the artists have donated their time and skills because they're nice people, too.

Cardiff & District Samaritans is staffed and run entirely by volunteers, and is funded entirely by donations. It offers 24 hours-a-day confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those that might lead to suicide. It operates within one of the poorest areas of the UK, the South Wales Valleys, where per-capita anti-depressant use is higher than anywhere else in the country.

It costs over £45,000 per year to maintain the service - this is around £125 per day. The branch receive, on average, 100 calls per day.

More info at


disc one

  1. Beautiful Screaming Lady: The Day Everything Went Wrong
  2. The 14th Century: Adagio for Shimmering and Pitch-bends
  3. Raging Hellcats: Just Say No (DJ Narration's Ketamix)
  4. An Evening With Jack Cocktoast and the Twice-Nightly Big Band: Baldy Gonk (In The Wind)
  5. Novak: Feed The World
  6. Michiel De Haan: True Dreams
  7. Min Boyce: Extreme Listening
  8. DAC Crowell: That's What Friends Are For (Total Deconstruction Methodology Semi-ambient Anti-mix)
  9. Bamdotbos + The Spice Girls: Sperm is Magical
  10. Pile-Up: Think Of The Children

disc two: the Jacob Whittaker disc

  1. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 1
  2. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 2
  3. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 3
  4. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 4
  5. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 4b
  6. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 5
  7. Charity Records From Charity Shops Mixed For Charity, part 6

disc three

  1. Dr Jean H. Gateau: Wereworld
  2. Nuns On Tractors: Bad Weather Causes Lengthy Delays To Mersey Ferry
  3. Min Boyce: Felicity Kendal In The Wind
  4. Wnion: Do My Friends Know The Perfect Living Mersey Girl Will Never Walk The World
  5. Bunny Slippers: Growl Input/Turnip Glow
  6. The 14th Century: Things You Do Which Lead Me To Believe That You May Have Lost That Loving Feeling: #1 Neglect To Close Your Eyes Anymore When I Kiss Your Lips
  7. DJ Macs Beuys: I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
  8. Dead Colonel Resurrected By Benevolent Couple: USA For Cardiff
  9. Microsoft Sam: Microsoft Sam Is The World
  10. Daf Ap Daf: Saturday Afternoon Barbeque, Ferry Aid On The Radio
  11. Beautiful Screaming Lady: Cardiff & District Samaritans Annual Report


It's all very well having music to listen to, but what will you look at while you're doing it? What good are mp3s without any associated artwork? Worry no more - we have provided you with 9 (nine) different album covers for you to import into your favourite mp3 player (each based on an amusing anagram of Cardiff Samaritans). You can also, if you're one of these people that likes to burn CDs and put them on your shelf, download our high quality print resolution printable PDF document containing all nine covers plus tracklists for each of the three component discs, which you can print out, cut out and insert into a standard jewelcase. Simply right-click (ctrl-click on a Mac), Save As.

Download the complete set of printable covers [PDF, 6.75Mb]

Aircraft Sadism Fan

Airman Acrid Staffs

Armada Traffic Sins

Crania Draft Massif

Maniac Radar Stiffs

Maria Traffic Sands

Marinara Staff Disc

Mascara Triad Sniff

Satanic Madras Riff

purchasing options

No purchase necessary, but please consider making a donation to the Samaritans.